07 - Partners in Crime

It's been a while since I last posted. Since wala naman akong masyadong personal insight this past weeks, my blog became idle for awhile. Yesterday, I realized some things about my thesis partner. The thought just crossed my mind.

Let me describe in brief what my thesis partner is. First of all, she's my friend. She was my ever first friend when we were in first year (college). Ever since then, we became close. Apparently, she's a consistent dean's lister in our major. She's kind, very helpful, and you can share your problems with her; personal or not. She's nice.

Even though I know things about her, there are other things that I don't quite figure out when it comes to her attitude. There are times that I get irritated by the way she speaks. Sometimes, I don't like the tone of her voice whenever she answers questions. I mean, if you're angry, just keep your voice low. I don't know if I'm the only one that notices it but it makes me irritated and want not to speak with her.

There was a time when she told us that one of our blockmate told her that she gets intimidated whenever she's (blockmate) with her (friend) because we all know that she's a DL and her presence is 'kinda' intimidating. I was surprised when she told us that and I told her that she's not intimidating. After a few months, I realized why my blockmate told her that.

Being her thesis partner, I realized things that I didn't expect that I would say. I admit, I get intimidated by her already. Why did I say that? When we were practicing the night before our proposal defense, she bombarded me with questions for our thesis. I know it's a practice but because I'm not that good in answering on the spot, I took time before answering the question. She was all quiet on the line. Whenever I say, "ano na ba yung sagot?" she would just answer, "ay ewan ko sayo". I just wanted to quit and say, "let's just study".

When we started becoming partners, I noticed some sides of her when it comes to work. I know that she's a perfectionist and she wants to put everything in order. She doesn't want a mistake to happen. Being her partner, I get stressed because of that. I was just keeping it to myself. Nobody knows how I feel. I know it's wrong to hide your feelings but I just don't want me and my partner to have some misunderstandings and conflicts. I just want us to be okay. I decided to keep things to myself and just go on in whatever is happening just to avoid conflicts.

I just hope she would realize those things. *sigh*

06 - One sided..

Bakit ganon? Kung kelan gusto mo na ang isang tao, dun naman siya lumayo at nakahanap na nang bago.

Bakit ganon? Sinabi niya na mag hihintay siya pero hindi niya nakayanan mag antay.

Bakit ganon? Kung kelan ready ka na, dun naman siya naging masaya sa piling ng iba?

Bakit may one sided love?

Ang hirap ata nang ganto. Tinitake for granted mo ang isang tao tapos sa huli, ikaw rin ang magsisisi kung kelan na-realize mo na mahal mo na pala siya. Pinagsisisihan mo na sana hindi mo siya pinakawalan kung kelan andun pa siya. Pero, nangyari na ang nangyari, may bago na siya, ikaw nag dudusa, nakikita silang dalawa magkasama na masaya. Ang sakit diba?

Bakit kaya existing ang gantong feeling? Bakit kaya nag e-exist ang one sided love kung hindi naman kayang i-return ang feelings ng taong mahal mo sayo? Siguro para matuto ka rin masaktan at makapag realize na kailangan mo nang tumigil para makahanap na ng iba. Siguro para ma-realize mo na hindi mo na-appreciate yung taong nag mahal sayo dati kaya ngayon nagsisisi ka.

Naranasan mo na mag mahal ng one sided love?

No Boyfriend Since Birth

Let me share what I've posted this afternoon in Teentalk's NBSB thread..

I posted on this thread a few years back, way back when I was still in high school and I'll be posting again now that I'm on my 3rd year in college.. still NBSB.

I've back read from page 48 till the present page this past hour and I have to say that I agree with some of you..

Ang dami kong na-realize this past years.. and I don't know kung agree ba kayo o hindi though we all have different points of view diba?

Before when I was still 14-16 yrs. old (now 18), I have such high standards when it comes to guys (I know you girls also do ) Sinasabi sa akin nung isang classmate ko nung high school na bat daw ba ang hirap namin i-please when it comes to guys, etc. Ang ta-taas daw ng standards namin. Alam niyo naman ang mga "semi"-teenagers (high school) ((: Uso kasi sa high school yung kailangan may bf or gf ka for the sake of being "in". Kailangan maki-uso ka and stuff or else, "loser" ka. I never thought of that before. Iniisip ko, what's the logic behind it, really? Just to impress people? Uso din kasi ang peer pressure during that time. That didn't get into me and I thank God for that

Sinasabi din nila na ang pihikan ko daw sa lalake, I don't deny the fact that I am. Pero na-realize ko na hindi lahat ng lalake eh makaka-fit sa standards mo lalo't na pag hindi kaabot-abot iyon. Everyone has flaws, and you have to deal with it. Gaya nga nang sabi na, pag nasa relationship ka na, you have to accept your partner's flaws.. Kaya, hinay-hinay sa pag set ng standards kasi pano kapag hindi naabot yun? I'm not saying na it's bad to set, I guess you have to set standards yung mga attainable ba.

Hindi naman ako NSSB, I've had 3 or 4? 2 of them were in grade school (loooool ikr?) Nakakaloka kasi nag letter pa yung guy sa akin that time tapos sinabi ko na marami pa namang ibang babae, bat ako pa yung pinili niya? Pag naalala ko yung time na yun, napag isip-isip ko, ang mature ko naman mag salita nung mga panahon na yan. I was only 10 years old that time! Ngayong college naman, walang nag a-attempt na mangligaw sa akin. Hindi naman ako sad, okay lang sa akin. I don't care though XD One time, tinanong nga ako nung friend ko kung ano daw gagawin ko kung may gustong mangligaw sa akin. Ang sagot ko, itu-turn down ko siya. I'm not being harsh or anything, it's just that ayaw ko kasing magpa-asa ng tao kung alam ko naman na wala ring patutunguhan yung panliligaw niya, diba? Mas mabuti pang sabihin mo na ng maaga kesa sa umaasa siya.

And I also don't get it when people ask you if you have a bf and then you answer them with "I don't have one" and they're all "weh, di nga?" nakakainis yung mga ganon. Ayaw maniwala eh sinasagot mo lang naman yung tanong nila. Ganon na ba ka-indemand ang magkaron ng bf ngayon? diba?

I want to graduate college being an NBSB still. Nothing's wrong with it naman diba? As long as you're happy and contended with what you have-- that's all that matters naman.

Kudos sa ating mga NBSB!

That's not even complete. I just shared some of what's on my mind about it, or else it'll be long! :))